I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
