He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
