In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
