If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
