I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
