It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
