i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
