I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
