he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
