He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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