i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
