The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize