You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
