guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
not ubering you a puppy
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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