I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
