I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
