doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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