I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
