ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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