recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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