can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
