booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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