Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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