we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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