She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
