just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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