well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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