Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
