More tranny stories later!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
