I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
