I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I am spending my child support on dildos
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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