I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
