So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
