Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
