Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
