Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
