Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
