tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
