I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
