you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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