Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
