so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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