i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
