i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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