Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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