Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
