I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
