If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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