I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
