This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
