Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
