he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
