Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
