Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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