is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
