Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
