TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
