I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
