You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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