before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
