wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
