i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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