Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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