i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
