Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Randomize
