i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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