How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
