East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
