this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she pinky promised me she was 18
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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