if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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