She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
