literally had 100 drinks last night.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
