we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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